I hate marriage! Alright, that’s not true. But sometimes, I get sick of the whole concept of marriage, especially since we’re so obsessed with it in this part of the world.
There have been times in my life when I have felt like I couldn’t make it through the day or even walk ten steps without being reminded of how beautiful marriage is. Some even go as far as asking why I’m not getting a slice of this very special cake yet.
Don’t get me wrong, I love beautiful unions. But what if I’m just not in a rush to commit to it yet? What if I actually like my own company and want to enjoy it a little more?
EXPLORE: What Nigerian men want in a woman – 5 men answer
Well, let’s talk about how to truly enjoy being alone in a culture that acts like your value is tied to your marital status.
Reframe “Alone” as “available to yourself”
Often, people interpret being alone as being unloved or incomplete. But that’s not true. It in fact, means your decision and your space belongs to you. The earlier you begin to see that as a privilege, the better for you.
Personally, I do not like to call it being alone. Instead, I’d say I’m available to myself and that’s a privilege. At least, it can be a period of discovering what you like without compromise and a period of growing into the adult you really want to become before marrying.
Learn to enjoy solitude in private
Individuality is what makes us unique, and to enjoy your moment of being alone, we must learn to build a relationship with ourselves and appreciate our ideas, skills, imagination, and so on.
Of course, there’s no better way to do this than during our moments of solitude. This is something you can barely enjoy when married. Now I’m not saying marriage is a bad thing, but if you’ve chosen to be alone, then it’s a moment to enjoy all the solitude you want in private.
READ ALSO: Why short people live longer than tall people
Learn a new hobby
If you’ve chosen to be alone, then you better make the most of the time. Learn a new hobby, because you can. A craft, a new language, a card trick, a new aquarium…there are so many interesting and wonderful things to learn and do.
Unlearn the “Marriage is the Prize” mentality
You’ve probably heard this your whole life:
“A woman’s crown is her husband.”
“You’re getting older o!”
“No man wants a woman that’s too ambitious.”
These are cultural scripts, not truth. Your worth isn’t measured by someone putting a ring on your finger. You are already whole. Marriage is a good thing – but it’s not the only thing.
RELATED: Do Nigerian women hate short men? 7 ladies answer
Being single in a marriage-obsessed culture doesn’t mean you’re behind. It means you’re on your own timeline. And that’s okay.
Romantic love is beautiful. But so is Self-love, friendship, inner peace, freedom and growth. So enjoy it while it lasts, and never feel like you’re missing anything.
READ ALSO: How to spot fake friends who secretly don’t like you
