If you grew up in a Nigerian home, you’d easily testify that there’s often too much pressure from Nigerian Parents. I mean, we all love our parents, but it can be difficult dealing with the generous dose of parental pressure they often dish out.
Whether it’s about marriage, relationship, career, education, or friendship, Nigerian parents have a way of applying subtle pressure while softly pushing you to do what they want, and this can be overwhelming for anybody.
We understand how you feel and want to help work you through it because you can truly handle the pressure like a boss.
Here are tips that can help you ward off various degrees of pressure from parents and get them to respect your life choices and situation.
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1. Understand Where the Pressure Comes From
Before you roll your eyes at the next “When will you marry?” question, take a step back. Nigerian parents often mean well with these questions, even though it may not go down well with you. So, sit back and analyse the question and why they’re asking. It could be from any or all of the following:
A desire for your security and success
Fear of societal judgment (“What will people say?”)
Their own sacrifices and expectations
The cultural values they grew up with
Understanding this will not stop the pressure, but it will help you approach it with empathy, not just frustration.
2. Set Boundaries – Respectfully
This is the key to sanity. Setting boundaries doesn’t mean being rude. It means communicating clearly and consistently.
You can try to say something like:
“Mum, I really appreciate your concern about my job, but I need time to figure out what’s best for me. I’d love your support while I do that.”
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Keep it firm and kind, and repeat as needed. Note that Nigerian parents are wired to test boundaries, so you’ll need to stay as calm and consistent as possible.
3. Communicate Like an Adult (Even If They Don’t Treat You Like One)
You’re 27, and your dad still acts like you’re a small girl? We feel you. But even if they see you as a child, act like the adult you are.
Use logic, not emotion. Share your plans, show progress, and explain your decisions instead of hiding them. Nigerian parents respond better when they see that you’ve thought things through.
4. Protect Your Mental Health
Parental pressure can mess with your self-esteem, especially when comparisons kick in:
“Do you know Nkechi just bought a house?”
“Your mate just got a PhD in Canada.”
Comparison is the thief of joy and peace. Learn to tune out the noise. When it feels like everything’s getting overwhelming, learn to try things that can help you stay in check. Talk to a trusted person about it. Take a space when necessary. These things seem little, but they always work to help people stay grounded under pressure.
5. Show Results (Sometimes That’s All They Care About)
You might not follow their exact path, but Nigerian parents often change tune when they see results. Succeed in your own way, and let them see it.
You may hear:
“I didn’t understand what you were doing before, but now I see you’re doing well.”
Winning silently, then surprising them with results, can be a powerful move.
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