Dating isn’t all roses, rainbows and cute instagram posts. It’s a lot more challenging. At first, everything feels exciting: getting to know someone new, discovering shared interests, and daydreaming about a future together.
But chemistry alone isn’t enough. Red flags are a big deal breaker.
Now, we’re all familiar with the classic ones; ghosting, possessiveness, breadcrumbing. But what about the subtle signs?
We’ve gathered interesting stories from 10 guys about the little things that made them go ‘Hmm…’ Those red flags they watch out for when dating a woman, and let’s just say, their answers might surprise you.
Grab your popcorn. This is about to get interesting.
Elvis says:
The way she treats waiters. If I’m on a dinner date, and she treats the waiters as less-than, then she’s a hard no for me. How you treat those in your service, or any position that’s “beneath” you, is a reflection of who you are.
Kevin says:
Based on my experience, the biggest red flag test for me is simply how much she desires attention from strangers. If you’re in a committed relationship, I expect you to be uninterested in the attention other men give you and handle that attention with the tact necessary to shut it down.
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Jordan says:
I’m wary of male friends. Not to say a woman can’t have male friends, but let me know if you have a history of getting intimate with one of them.
Recently got a out of a relationship where I got cheated on with one of said male friends. I respected the friendship and didn’t suspect anything, but sure enough, the guy started using certain words in their texts and it accumulated to me being a fool for not catching on sooner.
Chris says:
Trauma dumping. Never ever open up after they do. They will burn you.
I learned this the hard way. A person trauma dumping you can provide you with a false sense of connection, and you may in turn believe that you’re closer than you are. In reality, this person has unhealed wounds that they need to work on internally before being in a relationship.
John says:
Nothing was ever her fault. Ever. Lose a job? Someone else’s fault. Every. Single. Time. And on top of that, a compulsive liar, which she disguised at first very well.
And the reason this is such a huge red flag is because these people never grow. They never accept any advice. They never learn. They never have any self reflection on how they could have done better, because they never actually did anything wrong in their mind. And it’s a LOT easier for them to just blame someone else, than to try and better themselves.
Alex says:
She told me I need to treat her all the time and that “men pay for dinners. It’s just what you’re supposed to do”
No thanks, lol. Save it for another desperate guy.
Jasper says:
The moment I find out I’m replaceable and forgettable, I lose all interest. I’ve had an ex girlfriend tell me she could replace me with four other guys. Never again.
Durian says:
How she talks about her ex. Whether the breakup was good or bad, it reveals a lot about her emotional maturity and how she might handle your relationship going forward.
If it ended badly, has she healed and regained confidence, or is she still carrying the weight of that relationship? If she just says “he was the problem” with no reflection, and she’s showing some toxic traits herself, that’s a red flag.
If it was an amicable split, has she thought about why it didn’t work and what she wants now?
Mike says:
BBL is a huge turnoff.
Sam says:
How she handles me talking about other women. I have a bunch of exes I’m friendly with, I have a lot of female friends. If she is a jealous type, she won’t handle being with me.
Also how she talks about other people. If she calls other people ugly for no reason, or pick on people or is constantly negative about others, then she is not the one for me. I don’t care if you’re beautiful, if your inside is monstrous. Shallow people are the least attractive people in the world to me.
Adapted from a variety of Reddit threads where men discussed their personal red flags when dating.
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