When I found out I was pregnant at 15, it was a complete shock. It felt like my entire life, which was already difficult enough with puberty and all its emotional stress, had just been turned upside down.
I wasn’t prepared for the intensity of what was to come, physically, mentally, and emotionally.
The first sign of trouble was the constant nausea. I was sick all the time, and the exhaustion never seemed to end. It felt like my body was betraying me, and I could hardly get through the day. I remember feeling completely overwhelmed, like I was stuck in a nightmare I couldn’t wake up from.
Telling my family was the hardest part. I was terrified of their reaction, and unfortunately, my fears were confirmed. When I finally confessed, I was met with shame and disappointment rather than understanding or support. It hurt more than I could ever express. I thought they’d love me no matter what, but instead, I felt like I was being judged for something I couldn’t undo.
High school was already hard enough; kids can be cruel and gossipy at that age, but being pregnant made everything worse. I was different, and everyone could see it. The whispers behind my back, the stares, and the comments that felt like daggers in my heart made me feel incredibly isolated. Instead of focusing on my education and friendships, I was consumed by the stress of my situation.
Unfortunately, I miscarried. The physical pain of the miscarriage was unbearable, and the experience has stayed with me ever since. There was so much blood, so much loss, and even now, every time I get my period, my mind goes straight back to that moment. The memory is so vivid it’s like my body can’t forget.
Since then, I’ve made the choice to permanently prevent having children. I don’t want to go through what I did again. It was a traumatic period of my life, and I’m not sure I could handle it again.
Part of me wonders if that experience at such a young age has shaped how I feel about having children in the future. I know this isn’t everyone’s experience, but for me, it was life-changing.
Adapted from a story originally shared on Reddit.
ALSO READ: Ask Pulse: I have sex with my husband 3 times a day yet he still cheats
