Different tribes have different traditions when it comes to the bride price and for today, the focus will be on the Urhobo tribe. This is one of the tribes where the bride price is as low as they come, not even up to ₦200 in some cases. But apart from the bride price, marrying an Urhobo girl entails a whole lot more.
The whole process usually begins with the groom paying a visit to the girl’s family and making his intentions known. This is referred to as the first visit and if the girl’s family decide he is actually serious with their daughter, they ask him to go bring his relations for a proper introduction and this is usually the second visit.
During the second visit, the infamous wedding list is handed over to the man’s family. This list is collected with some money (usually around ₦5,000).This list, although quite lengthy, is not actually expensive.
Some of the items on this list are outfits for the girl’s parents to wear on the wedding day, money to cook the Urhobo bride’s traditional meal (Ogwho soup) on the day of the wedding, three bags of salt, drinks and some amount of money. There is also the part where the man is asked to clear the farm of the girl’s father, which of course can be settled with some money.
Everything on this list is negotiable between the both families.Actually, the negotiation is encouraged and is an important part of the Urhobo wedding.
After collecting the list, the groom and a family member is also expected to pay a visit to three relations from the girl’s father’s family and two relations from her mother’s family. He also tells them of his intentions to marry the girl.. Now, for the bride price itself, it is decided upon after much negotiation. The discussion is usually held in the presence of both the families of the bride and groom and it is coordinated by a designated negotiator.
The bride’s family usually starts the negotiation process by calling millions of naira. They go on to explain how their daughter is highly educated and deserves nothing less than that. The groom’s family would then beg for a reduction…This is standard practice and is not because they do not have the money to pay.
They explain how they know the girl’s educational background and that is one of the reasons they are interested in her. The bride’s family then go a little lower and explain that their daughter is very beautiful and deserves nothing less.
This new price is still negotiated upon by the groom’s family. The negotiation process is usually in three rounds and it usually ends at a very small price – the most common is ₦120, but some families can go a little bit higher.
The Urhobo bride’s family usually says they are choosing this amount because they know the couple will still need some money to feed when they eventually get married. At the end of the day, when the groom eventually pays the ₦120, the girl’s family gives back ₦10 to the negotiator to give to the groom. They explain that the man is supposed to invest that money and it is expected to grow during the course of their marriage.
As mentioned earlier, this amount might differ among Urhobo families, but it usually isn’t such a big amount as the Urhobos believe their daughter is not for sale.
