If you’ve watched a movie and you cringed when the sex scenes came on, I bet it’s for either of these reasons: it was too soon, you were just not feeling it, it wasn’t necessary.
A recent tweet by a user, Ego Oyinbo, sparked a conversation on intimacy in films, particularly in Nollywood. The tweet read:
“We are too quick to use sexual intimacy to show love in our movies. We need to be able to show true yearning, burning desire and love that sweeps people off their feet without resorting to kiss kiss, sex sex.”
This statement raises an important question: Has Nollywood become overly reliant on physical intimacy as shorthand for love? Or is it simply reflecting modern romantic dynamics?
While some agree that love should be portrayed in more nuanced ways, others argue that physical intimacy is a natural part of storytelling. Let’s explore both perspectives.
The case for more nuanced intimacy
One of the biggest criticisms of romance in films is the tendency to lean on physical expressions; kissing, sex scenes, and touch to depict love. While this is not inherently bad, it often feels like a shortcut, replacing deeper emotional storytelling.
Love is complex, and films should capture its many shades, longing glances, meaningful conversations, acts of service, emotional vulnerability, and the kind of tension that keeps audiences on edge.
READ ALSO: Everything you need to know about Carolyna and Dabota’s feud
Some of the greatest love stories in global cinema are built on restraint and anticipation rather than immediate physical expression.
Think of the slow-burning passion in Pride and Prejudice, the yearning in In the Mood for Love, or the unspoken affection in Before Sunrise. These films prove that intimacy can be deeply felt without overt sexuality.
In older Nollywood films, romance was often conveyed through simple but effective gestures, exchanging letters, lingering eye contact, or even playful banter. This made love feel more layered and suspenseful.
Today’s films, however, sometimes rush straight to physical intimacy, skipping the emotional build-up that makes relationships compelling.
The case for physical intimacy in storytelling
On the flip side, love is not just about longing glances and emotional depth, it also includes physical connection. Avoiding physical intimacy entirely in movies could make love stories feel incomplete or unrealistic.
Many modern Nollywood films aim to reflect contemporary relationships, where physical expressions of love are a given.
Moreover, intimacy on screen can be a powerful tool to communicate chemistry, vulnerability, and the intensity of emotions between characters. When done tastefully, it adds to the authenticity of the romance rather than taking away from it.
Another argument is that African storytelling has long had an issue with depicting sensuality due to cultural and religious conservatism.
For decades, Nollywood avoided on-screen intimacy altogether, which often made love stories feel sterile or unrealistic.
The more recent shift toward including kissing and even mild sex scenes in films like A Sunday Affair and Summer Rain suggests that Nollywood is trying to explore love in its full dimension.
Striking a balance
Sex is an activity two people “should” enjoy, not mechanical, not choreography. Rather than tossing physical intimacy altogether, we could use it more deliberately. While love shouldn’t be boiled down to just attraction, it shouldn’t be stripped of passion. The best romance stories strike a perfect balance; emotional depth with a sprinkle of sizzling chemistry.
To filmmakers, before you press go on that sex scene answer this question: Is the intimacy moving the story forward, or is it just vibes and aesthetics?
Romance should make us feel the connection long before the first kiss lands. Let’s get invested in the emotional stakes before rushing to the physical. Sometimes these kissing scenes creep up on us and have us wondering, how? when? Where are the STAKES?
Talk is plenty. Love stories thrive on what’s left unsaid. Finally, not all romance stories need the same formula. Some thrive on restraint; others demand passion. Know what your story needs and apply accordingly.
